05 March 2013

I don't live like a normal human being

Jack on the left (RIP) and his brother Squeaky
I ceased to live like a normal human being a long time ago. During this last year I actually slept in a closet for two months and I also lost a friend and two kittens that I loved very much. I live with more than five chronic pain conditions but I try my best to put some type of humor in my life or living just wouldn't be worth it. This last year has been one of the toughest that I have ever had to endure. My love for humor seemed to escape me for awhile.

Sometimes I feel so discouraged and down that I want to run away like a wild teenager and not tell anyone where I went. After being in a fire and losing so much in 2011, I ended up moving to a town that I never wanted to live in again. Due to the lack of funds at the moment, I am stranded here for the time being. It has depressed me a lot and that's why I look forward to Spring so much. At least in the Spring in Texas I can start planting vegetables and flowers. I love to plant things and eagerly watch them grow. Picking the crops from my hard work is the best feeling. Believe it or not yours truly even made wild Mustang grape jelly last year from the grapes on this property and it was fantastic!

One of the main reasons I felt so down during this last year as I mentioned, is the loss of a really dear friend of mine named Brad Stout. Brad and I worked together at the Alamo years ago and he was such a delight. He died in his sleep of a stroke at the age of 59. Why do all the good guys always die too young? There are so many evil people walking the earth and they live to be very old and along the way they make us all miserable.

Also within the last few months, I lost two kittens that I cared for since they were born on May 11, 2012. The first to die was a kitten named Jack. He went through a bad period where one of his eyes was injured and he lost the sight in that eye. When he was first injured, I took him in and took care of him. I had to keep him away from my cats and my daughters cats because he was so small and so sick.  So I got a creative idea (I get a lot of those) and turned a closet into a small room with a litter box, cat bowls and my computer. I sleep on the floor anyway, so I slept on the floor with this sick baby kitten in the closet.  Most people thought I was weird and crazy but I didn't look at it that way and I'm quite used to being called weird and crazy. Ha! Honestly I enjoyed the quiet and peacefulness in the little closet room I made. I also brought in a tiny little miniature cat named Squeaky. He was Jack's brother and we called him Mini Me at first because he was so tiny. So Jack, Squeaky and I lived in this little room over two months all together. When I got tired of the humans, I gladly retreated to my little room. After Jack recovered I let him go outside to live again because he would sit in the window staring down at his siblings playing and he looked so sad. It was hard but I reluctantly let him go back out. About a month after I let him out, he was found dead near the road. It really hurt me. Then my friend Brad died. It was almost too much. The other kitten that died was named Stripe and it was only last week I lost her. She was very sick and all my nursing skills just weren't enough to keep her alive. My heart aches for all the losses I have had this last year and lifting my spirits is number 1 on my list to making my life better than it is now.

Good things have happened to me too. I met a wonderful friend online through Facebook and  His name is R.G. After four decades of looking for my biological mother - my new friend found my biological cousins for me. (I will cherish him forever!) He encouraged me to write one of my cousins named Genevieve. Thinking of writing her made me so nervous. I was afraid of being rejected. After hours of giving myself a pep talk I finally wrote to my cousin Genevieve and she wrote back! Then I discovered a young cousin named Christina who has a daughter named Jazz. Very recently I connected with a male cousin named John. (He and I seem to be a lot alike.) Getting to know my new family is so wonderful and finding out the medical history of relatives was so important and finally I had some answers. It is all such a miracle to me. After all this time I finally feel like a complete person for the first time in my life. I love them so much already. My cousin Genevieve also sent me photo's of my grandparents and great grandparents plus great aunts and uncles. It was so thrilling to me! My friend R.G. also found a photo of my mother in an old newspaper from many years ago. It was the first time I have ever seen my mother's face. It made me cry with joy. I was adopted at birth and although my parents provided my adopted brother and I with all the material things we needed, I was very unhappy. I loved my adopted aunts, uncles and cousins, but I did not like the way my brother and I were treated. My cousins have been so wonderful during my search. They were my salvation when I was growing up. I had very bitter feelings growing up towards my parents but I will not dwell on it. It's time to put all that away and move on. I forgive them now that I am older and wiser, but it's not something that one can forget.

I haven't found my biological mother yet but R.G. found her trail. My mother married and we found out that I have a biological brother too. After losing my adopted brother almost 20 years ago, it is a big wish of mine to someday find my biological brother.

My biological mother's name is Catherine Theresa Townsend. She went by the name of Terry Townsend and her married last name is Borden. I think my bio brother's name is Tom. My mother was born in Wingdale, New York in 1929 and supposedly moved to California in the late 80's. It is my dream to find out what happened to her and my brother.  If you have heard of them, please write to me or find me on Facebook. The only Email I use is:

On this page I am going to post a photo of the kitten I lost named Jack with his brother Squeaky. By the way, Squeaky is not a miniature anymore. He has grown so much. I tend to grow very large cats.

I give you my word I will write and publish a new blog post within the week. Thank you for your patience. I was sick for awhile and then I hurt my hands in a fall. I took way too long to come back. You reading my posts always makes me so happy. For some unknown reason I have a lot of readers and it's quite thrilling! If you like what I have written, please check one of the boxes underneath each story or comment. See you soon........I promise.

My biological mother Theresa (Terry) Townsend