You hear that expression all the time - "You can't miss what you never had." That's not true. I never got to meet or speak or even be claimed by my biological mother.
I missed my biological mother all my life and I still do. I searched for her for 30 years and then petitioned the court and got the adoption files and discovered that the spelling of my mother's name was spelled wrong. The first and second name. When I got the State papers I also learned that my adoptive parents got legal custody of me after 5 months, which means I was adopted before the year wait that was required by law. My adopted mom told the court she saw my biological mother lurking around her relatives homes and she feared that I would be kidnapped. The thing I find really wrong about this is she was my biological mother! She wasn't some stranger. I don't think anyone even gave her a chance. We moved quite a bit when I was growing up. It becomes more clear to me all the time.... In case my biological mother or my brother's biological parents tried to find us, it would be hard to do. When I was in the 7th grade the school principal came and got me and there was a woman on the phone telling me she was my biological mother. I found out later on it was my brother she was looking for. I was disappointed. I was hoping they were coming to get me.
As for my biological mother, I know she did not fall off the edge of the earth! I hope she made it back home to New York. This is a priority with me right now.
I promise you Catherine Theresa Townsend that I will continue to look for you the rest of my life. My mom was a New Yorker. NYC. She was Catholic and supposedly raised by her grandmother. She worked for the telephone company as an operator. She supposedly got pregnant by a guy of Asian/Filipino heritage possibly and she followed him to Texas and did not get to him before he was shipped out in the Korean War. My family all claim not to remember anything about my mother. I do not believe that.
I miss you Mom. Who am I? She lived with my adoptive parents approximately five months before I was born. There is no way that no one remembered anything about my mom. I heard she was very beautiful and very kind.
The secrets from the past should not matter anymore. I seek medical information. My daughter and I face painful days every day and I would like to give her and my other children answers to things concerning their health. Things to watch for that may have been passed down. Who wouldn't want to know that?
UPDATE: Through the kindness of others my biological mother was found on a New York census. She lived with her grandparents and three uncles plus my grandmother Amy. Catherine was raised by the grandmother which is what I was told by someone who knew her. My great grandfather was 16 years older than my grandmother which would also hold true of the grandmother raising my mom because he might have passed on not long after Catherine was born due to his age at her birth. I found out my great grandmothers father was from Ireland~~ I never would have guessed the Irish connection. I absolutely love it. I feel like a whole person for the first time in my life. The next census which will be ten years after the one I was shown comes out in 2012. I can't wait to see it.
Thank you so much to the kind people I met on FB at the Ancestry.com page. You have changed my life for the better. Thank you for giving me such a gift. The biggest thanks goes to a new friend named Richard. He not only sent me records of the census but he continued to look and for the first time in my life, I knew my grandmothers, grandfathers, great uncles, great aunts names. Richard continued to search and found more information for me. More than I ever imagined I would ever know. We are continuing to look for my birth mother, who went by Terry Townsend. (Catherine Theresa Townsend). She was from Wingdale, New York then to New York City when she got older. I am smiling a lot more these days. This means so much to me.